Ch-ch-changes

I haven't been posting my daily menus the last couple of days. Ostensibly because it's been a bit busy; I'm tired; I'm in the throes of PMS; add your excuse here. Yes, some of that is true, but the shaming truth is that I've fallen a bit off the wagon.

Nothing overly horrible, though, and with the added benefit that I feel myself compensating or rearranging my eating pattern to bring myself to a somewhat balanced daily total. Case in point: Yesterday, I wanted a chicken parmesan hero for lunch. I haven't craved one in a couple of years, but it was a lazy Saturday with the apartment to myself and there you go. I ordered it and ate the whole (huge) thing. It was tasty, but also kind of an automatic consumption after the first few bites. Later, I had some lightly steamed broccoli with raw hummus, followed by a big raw salad for dinner. In the not-so-distant past, I wouldn't have been terribly happy with salad for dinner, even after such a big lunch. That seems to have changed, which pleases me.

My usually debilitating PMS is also much lessened this month -- only one night of cramps enough to wake me up, compared to the usual week or more of sleepless nights. Considering I only started eating this way mid-month, I'm interested to see what happens during the next cycle. For those of you who live with "female trouble" for more than half the month, you'll know that diminishing that one aspect alone is enough to stick to a new way of eating.

Today and yesterday, I've been trying to get back on track, but also taking the weekend as an opportunity to find out when my body is actually hungry. My natural state of being says that I never really want breakfast (beyond some water and perhaps coffee) until I'm awake for an hour or two. Stuffing a smoothie and oatmeal or toast down my gullet within 20 minutes of waking may curb my cravings later in the day, but it sure doesn't make me happy during my most difficult time of day.

A sample from today:

9:20am -- Wake up
9:30am -- Emergen-C with water
9:50am -- Iced coffee with almond milk
10:30am -- Raw oatmeal with almond milk, ground flaxseed, dried mango, squirt of agave nectar
1:00pm -- 2-3 slices organic mozzarella; 1/2 thinly sliced eggplant sauteed in brushed-on olive oil, sprinkled with kosher salt. One square chewy freezer fudge*.
2:00pm -- Green smoothie made with one banana, three big frozen strawberries, 2-3 cups raw spinach, squirt of agave nectar, water

And here I am. Not bad -- and man, was the eggplant ever so tasty and rich. But my body is used to a daily smoothie now, so I was happy to oblige.


Recipe for Chewy Freezer Fudge (adapted from "Raw Food, Real Life" by Sarma Melngailis and Matthew Kenney)

Make this even if you think eating raw is a bunch of hooey. It's super easy and fantastic to have in the freezer for those sweet treat attacks as one square is enough to satisfy any craving. You MUST store this in the freezer and eat it straight away once you take out a portion; otherwise, it goes very gooey.

1 cup raw almond butter
1/8 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 cup maple syrup (you could probably substitute agave nectar, I'm guessing)
1 scant tbsp. coconut butter
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. coarse sea salt (coarse is best -- you want some crunchy bits to contrast with the sweet fudge...trust me!)

Combine everything well in a bowl (alternatively, I'm thinking you can combine everything except the salt and sprinkle the salt over the top of the fudge once you've patted it out). Line a small square pan with parchment, or use a silicone pan. Press mix down evenly to flatten to about 1/3 inch thick (it will not stick to your hands). Don't worry if it doesn't fill pan completely. Place in freezer for at least one hour. Flip it out and cut into one-inch squares. Store covered in freezer.

The First Week

Part of my intent in creating this blog is to share both the ups and downs of attempting a raw food-esque lifestyle. Over the years, I've learned it's nigh-on impossible for me to commit to anything 100 percent, so I never kidded myself by thinking I might go raw vegan overnight...or ever. I'd rather try my best, experiment a bit, and hopefully hit on what will finally work for me when it comes to food -- both nutrition- and pleasure-wise. Not an easy task, believe me.

The first 48 hours of eating raw (or at least mostly fruits and veg) during the day were great. My body clearly needed the vitamins, nutrients and fiber, especially after the last few months of frighteningly escalating chips/cookies/candy intake at and post work...a new development for me and one I did not really like on many levels.

So yes. Thriving on the freshness, having a nice meal with my husband at night, all was well. And then I hit THE THIRD DAY.

In short: It Sucked. Woozy, foggy-headed, headachey all day despite a rare taking of Tylenol. Even after a nice lunch of mixed greens salad with nuts and a mozzarella stick, plus a raw dried fruit bar, I still couldn't see straight. I finally gave up and ran to the grocery store for cottage cheese and grapes. A little better after that, but not much...I finally succumbed to a heat-and-eat chicken noodle soup, dug up from the depths of my desk and that seemed to do the trick.

After work, I went to a dance performance but not before stopping off for a bite to eat. I decided to give myself a break when I picked up the menu but, surprisingly, my urge was for gazpacho, gravlax and a bit of bread. I expected to hit the fridge with full force once I got home, but only finished half a slice of cold pizza and called it a night.

The next day, I laid low and allowed my body to rest and regather forces. I've realized that, for now, I need more fuel during the day than simple fruit and veg. Bless those that can thrive on such a plan, but I just can't. Adding a touch of grain in the morning (toast or raw oatmeal) and some protein has made all the difference. Once I sort out a good afternoon snack, I think I might be going somewhere.

Dinner has been the best development this week. Usually, I go to town at dinner. Now I'm satisfied with much less and find myself pushing away extra. This thrills me no end.

So some ups and downs and still some things to sort. In all, though, I've been shocked at how quickly most of my ideas have seemed to cement into place. Almost 35 years of struggling and giving up with food, and I may have figured out what will finally work for me in seven days? Unbelievable.